Recently I've been striving to change how I look at eating. In the past, it's been very controlled, neurotically counting calories and carefully measuring everything. Which works great for serious fat loss. And I lost a lot of weight doing that. Too much, in fact.
In March I weighed in at 127 lbs and 16% body fat (I'm nearly 5'8" tall). I was thrilled with how I looked! But it was not a healthy weight for me. Losing your period for 3 months does not equal a healthy weight. So I've gained some weight back - up to about 20% body fat - and now I'm struggling with how I look.
In the back of my mind, I know I'm not fat. But when I look in the mirror, my brain remembers what I looked like at 127 lbs and it sees someone who is overweight, which I know I am not. But my mind's eye has not yet made peace with the fact that 127 lbs is not a healthy weight for me.
I started coming up with a list of reasons to be happy where I am:
I can see muscle definition in my arms and legs.
My bodyfat is about 20% (still considered "fit/lean/athlete").
(Most of) my pants still fit.
I can still do more chin ups (and push ups) than my husband.
My resting heart rate is in the high 50's/low 60's (considered "athlete").
I would still wear a bikini in public.
My husband thinks I'm sexy.
That last reason alone should be enough. :) I think I need to work on focusing on the positives of where I am now, instead of negatively thinking about where I am, compared to where I have been in the past.
As for exercise, my husband and I recently took a 90 day break from Turbulence Training and completed a round of P90X. It was extreme, heavy lifting, and a lot of fun, but the 6-day-a-week schedule was pretty tiring by the end. Now during my "rest week" I am just running because I have decided to run another 5K race at the end of July. I'm going to start a TT bodyweight program next week. Even though I am a fan of heavy lifting, I also think it's good to give your body a different challenge every now and then.
On a side note, we took pictures pre and post P90X (had to get the high heels out for the after pics), and I just want to post my legs up close so you can see how well my rash is finally healing. I've had this rash now for 4 months (since mid-March)!
As far as diet, I'm just trying to eat healthy foods without counting too many calories. Not that I won't be planning anything. I still think failure to plan is a plan to fail, but my meal plans will be much less fixed. I want my eating to be more organic. Not organic as in "certified organic" (although that would probably be good as well), but more in the way of a natural flow and progression. As opposed to "clinically controlled" with all the weighing and measuring. Although I still weigh some things, like oatmeal. It's so easy to throw the bowl on the scale and pour in 40g of oatmeal. I've been eating less meat as well. No real reason, just seem to be eating less, particularly beef. It seems like everyone is eating less meat nowadays. Precision Nutrition even has a Plant-Based Diet Guide in the new V3, and I've heard that Craig Ballantyne of Turbulence Training is coming out with vegetarian meal plans very soon.
I'm just going to get out all my healthy cookbooks and create with abandon. OK, maybe not with complete abandon, but with moderate abandon. :)
OK, signing off here. We are unplugging the computer and taking ourselves "off the grid" for awhile, so no posts next week. Hope you all are enjoying your summer!